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11 November 2009 @ 07:30 am
Beautiful World - Part Four  
Another drive-by chapter posting hurriedly before work. This time I think I caught all typos... lol... this one pretty much establishes where things are going in general... I need a Chuck/Ryan icon... lol


Beautiful World - Part Four

"You two know each other?" Serena asked, surprised.

"He slept with Chuck!" Blair said, furious.

"You don't know what you're talking about," Ryan replied. "Chuck and I are friends, we were catching up on the last two and a half years!"

"In his bed?" Blair said.

"You slept with Chuck?" Dan asked, disgusted.

"No, I didn't," Ryan said. "We talked."

"Is that why he tried to get rid of me and your shirt was rumbled?" Blair asked. "And why he had his hand on your back as you got in the elevator?"

"You don't know what you're talking about," Ryan repeated.

"Then explain it!" Blair snapped.

"You want an explanation? Fine," Ryan said. "When I told Chuck about the three back surgeries I've had in the last year and a half since I almost died in a car crash, he was worried and wanted to know how bad the scars were. So I showed him, and when I told him I'm pretty much in constant pain, he told me to lay down so I would be in less pain. That's what was going on. I was laying down while we talked because it's less painful than standing or sitting, and Chuck didn't want me to be in more pain."

"I don't believe you," Blair said.

"Believe what you want, Blair," Ryan said. "I don't really care if you believe me."

"Chuck told me he's slept with you," Blair said.

"Yeah, two and a half years ago, in Newport, we had a thing. It lasted the couple of months he was in Newport," Ryan said.

"So you have slept with Chuck?" Serena asked.

"Yes, okay?" Ryan said. "I've slept with Chuck."

"Ryan, Chuck is a huge..." Dan began.

"I have no illusions about who Chuck Bass is," Ryan interrupted. "I know he's an ass, and he can be a manipulative jerk, and he needs a good smack upside the head sometimes. But I also know that if I had called him after the accident? He would have come to Newport to see me. And I know that the second he knew I'd been hurt, he was worried about me, which is a hell of a lot more than most of the people who were there when it happened," he said, getting up. "I think I need to call this a night."

"No," Serena said. "Blair needs to."

"What?" Blair asked.

"It's family night," Serena said. "I really shouldn't mess with that."

"Olivia's here!" Blair protested.

"I was actually just about to go," Olivia said, getting to her feet. "Dan just wanted to introduce me to his brother. We can share the elevator ride, Blair. Let's go," she concluded, taking the girl's arm and pulling her away, despite continued protests.

"I think I like your girlfriend," Ryan told Dan as he let Lily lead him back over to the others.

"She's pretty awesome," Jenny agreed.

"This accident..." Lily began.

"It was a while back, I was hurt pretty bad at the time, but I'm okay now."

"Except for being in pain?" Rufus said.

"Yeah, except for that," Ryan said. "It's not a big deal."

"Yeah, it kinda is," Jenny said.

"I'm with her," Eric agreed.

"I'm fine," Ryan repeated.

"Not if you're in pain," Dan said.

"Only if I don't take my pain killers," Ryan said.

"Did you take them today?" Lily asked.


"And why not?" Lily asked.

"They make me really fuzzy brained. I can't think when I take them," Ryan admitted. "And I know better than to deal with Chuck even slightly mentally impaired, let alone how I get on painkillers."

"Good to know," Dan said. "Because he's a jackass."

"Do I really have to go through it again that I have no illusions about him?" Ryan said.

"You don't know all the stuff he's done," Dan said.

"Dan's never exactly forgiven him for this little kissing me incident," Jenny said.

"Well, the Cohens have never gotten over their first two impressions of him," Ryan said. "Chuck does not make it easy to like him."

"Why didn't you tell us you're gay?" Serena asked. "I mean, we obviously don't care that Eric is, so we wouldn't care that you are..."

"I don't consider myself gay," Ryan said, clearly uncomfortable with discussing it in front of Lily and Rufus. "I don't base attraction on male or female, I base it on the person. On the intelligence, and the heart, and the humor. Every time I've followed that, it's been okay, maybe it didn't last, but I didn't end up getting my heart ripped out. When I forgot it and based a relationship on something else, it all went wrong and I ended up miserable. And the thing is, underneath all the jerkiness that is Chuck Bass, he's a good guy."

"He has stepped up on occasion," Serena admitted.

"Like getting rid of Georgina the first time," Dan agreed.

"Charles is hardly a saint, but he does come through for the people around him," Lily said diplomatically.

"Exactly," Ryan said. "He's a human being, deep down. That's why."

"So, are you gonna..." Serena began.

"Right now, my primary goal is to get to know my family better," Ryan said. "Everything else is secondary."

"Alright, on that note, Scrabble," Rufus said.

"I second that," Ryan said.


Ryan didn't check his phone until he got back to his hotel late that night, and he saw he had a dozen messages from the Cohens waiting for him. Instead of listening, though, he deleted all the messages. He did listen to Summer's message though.

Atwood, the Cohens are flipping out. Where are you? Are you taking your meds? Just... call somebody. Check in. Let us know you're not laying somewhere in pain. Call someone.

Ryan sighed and dialed her number, hoping to get her voice mail. Instead, she picked up.

"Where the hell are you, Atwood?" Summer demanded.

"I'm fine, Roberts," Ryan replied, pouring a couple of his pain killers into his palm, then filling a paper cup with water from the bathroom faucet so he could swallow them. "Taking my meds right now."

"Good, but that's not what I asked."


"I won't tell them if you don't want me to, but... they're worried sick."

"I'm in my hotel room in New York," Ryan said. "Getting to know my biological parents and siblings."

"They thought you'd changed your mind about that," Summer said.

"Yeah, well... I didn't," Ryan said. "Look, I'm fine, Summer."

"What are they like?"

"Weird?" Ryan said. "Rufus is, literally, a rock star. And Lily makes Kirsten look downright middle class."

"You're kidding?"

"Look up the Palace Hotel," Ryan said. "That's where they live."

"Oh my god."

"Yeah. Now imagine how I feel," Ryan said. "But they're... they're kinda great."

"I'm glad, Atwood," Summer said. "But..."

"I don't know when I'm coming back," Ryan said.

"But you are coming back, right?" Summer asked. "Ryan?"

"I don't know," Ryan replied. "I mean... I miss you guys, but... if I go back to California, I'd miss them. It's kinda Catch-22."

"They could come visit you here," Summer said.

"And you guys could come visit me here," Ryan replied. "Look, I'm still... I'm not deciding anything right now. But I'm sticking around for the holidays at least. I wanna celebrate Christmas with them."

"Cohen is going to freak if you're not home for Chrismukkah," Summer said. "But he'll deal with it. We just want you to be okay."

"I am," Ryan promised.

"What do you want me to tell them? Or... not tell them?"

"Whatever you want," Ryan replied. "Tell them everything, I don't really care. Right now I just want to get some sleep."

"They've been calling you."

"I know, I deleted their messages."


"They still think I'm being too hard on Marissa," Ryan said. "And so do you, even if you hide it better. I just don't wanna be the bad guy right now."

"I'll tell them you're okay and taking your meds," Summer said. "And that they need to back off calling."

"Thanks," Ryan said.

"Anytime," Summer said. "Night, Atwood."

"Night, Roberts," Ryan echoed, ending the call and dropping his cell on the bedside table before toeing off his shoes and climbing into bed fully dressed. As he drifted off, he thought that maybe he should have told Summer about Chuck, but decided it was better that he didn't. Summer may have somewhat liked Chuck, in a 'at least he's honest about being scum' kind of way, but she would have told the Cohens and they would have freaked out. And he really wasn't in the mood to hear about how, somehow, Chuck was responsible for the accident because of what had happened during that summer, even though it, as usually, could all be traced to Marissa.


The morning came with Ryan feeling a lot better than he had in a while thanks to a good night's sleep.

Unfortunately, it also came with another half dozen messages from the Cohens, and this time he decided to listen to them on speaker as he got dressed.

Kid, I thought you agreed that it was a bad idea to go to New York right now. What happened to waiting until we could come with you?

Ryan, we're worried about you, I know you told Summer you're fine, but please call. This isn't like you and we're worried. You had major surgery just a few months ago, and you haven't been cleared to travel at all, let alone across the country! What were you thinking?

Ry, seriously, you need to come back because mom and dad are freaking out, and it's kind of smothering for me.

Ryan rolled his eyes after the first three messages, deleting them, the deleting the others without listening to them. He didn't have the energy to deal with their issues, not while he was trying to keep a grip on his own. There was one more message on his phone after he deleted the others, and he smiled when he saw it was from Chuck.

I left a key to my office at the front desk if you want it. You're welcome anytime.

There was a brief pause, and Ryan was about to close the phone when Chuck continued.

I meant what I said. I'd choose you.

Ryan sat down, trying to decide. He knew what he wanted, he just had to decide whether he should go for it or not. Finally, he stooped to pull on his shoes, ignoring the slight twinges in his back, then got up, grabbing his jacket and his bottle of painkillers on his way out. He opened his phone again as he hit the street, dialing Chuck's number. "Are you going to be free in about a half hour?" he asked.

"I can be," Chuck replied. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Ryan said. "I just want to see you."

"You can't lie to me, either, Ryan," Chuck said.

"I'm tired of everyone else deciding what's right for me when I already know the answer," Ryan said.

"I'll be in my office when you get here," Chuck said. "Alone."

"Good," Ryan said.


When Ryan arrived at the Empire, he picked up the key and headed upstairs, using it to enter the room, and being greeted by Chuck, who immediately stood from the couch. "You really meant it?" Ryan asked.

"Without a doubt or hesitation," Chuck replied.

"Good," Ryan said, surging forward to kiss Chuck.

"What happened to your resolve?' Chuck asked as they heard towards the bedroom.

"The hell with it," Ryan said. "I want this, I want you and me. I don't want what everyone else thinks I need."

"What brought this on?" Chuck asked, stopping their movement, his hands cradling Ryan's neck.

"I didn't tell anyone where I was going when I left Newport," Ryan admitted. "And I've been deleting their messages, but Summer called me yesterday and I called her back, and I told her where I am, and she must have told them, because this morning I've got all these messages about how I shouldn't be here, and they thought I realized how bad an idea it was, and how I need to come home because Sandy and Kirsten are smothering Seth and... and I don't want to go back. I want to stay in new York, and get to know my family, and...and have a life here."

"And I'd be a part of that life?" Chuck said. "For more reasons than just because they dislike me?"

"Dislike's a really weak word for how they feel about you, Chuck," Ryan said.


"Yeah, okay, maybe part of me would kinda love to say to them 'Hey, I'm happier screwing Chuck Bass than I ever was dating Marissa Cooper', but it's not just that, Chuck. And you know it."

"I don't want you because you're angry and hurting," Chuck said.

"Chuck," Ryan said with a sigh.

"I cancelled my plans for the day when you called," Chuck said. "I meant every word of what I said to you yesterday. But..."


"Lily and Rufus. Humphrey, Serena, Eric, Jenny. You don't have to tell me what meeting them means to you."

Ryan snorted. "Apparently, Blair had a bad day yesterday, so Serena brought her by Lily and Rufus' to cheer her up with the Humphrey-Van Der Woodsen Board Game Championship," he said. "She wasn't exactly happy to see me, and she made sure to tell them about you and me."

"And how did that go?"

"It went with me telling them that I know exactly how much of an ass you are, but I also know you're a good guy underneath. And they grudgingly agreed that you are."

"You are going to completely ruin my reputation," Chuck said, though it was with affection rather than venom.

"I choose you, Chuck," Ryan said.

"I'll officially end it with Blair today," Chuck replied, pulling Ryan into another kiss and continuing their path towards the bed.

To Be Continued...

whew... yeah... more tidbits revealed. Ryan has tensions with the Cohens, who hate Chuck and still, despite all she's done, love Marissa... Seth is as selfish as ever... Summer is a reluctant go between, one of only two allies Ryan has in Newport (the other being Kaitlin because I adore the relationship between Ryan and Kaitlin in Season 4 and I can't undo that, no matter how I've twisted this 'verse around)... I can't seem to get the dialogue during the big revelation to the Humphreys-Van Der Woodsens scene to seem less... forced... I like the ultimate message of it, that they don't care who Ryan dates, as long as it's not an unhealthy relationship, and since the person in question is Chuck they're worried it is/would be. Of course, I'm sure if/when they meet Marissa, they'll realize Chuck is infinitely better for Ryan.

The way I see it, in this universe, the boys genuinely do love each other, and part of why is because they understand each other. Ryan knows Chuck is an ass but sees through it to the decent human being, and even to the guy who's doubtful of his own worth. Chuck knows Ryan is stubborn and smart and capable, but he also sees right through it to the guy who's scared to death of being alone and unwanted, of being unloved, and even to the guy who believes he doesn't deserve to be happy because no one else has ever seemed to believe he deserved it.

I don't know why I so often emphasize negative aspects of the Cohens. In this case the fact that they seem to think they know what's best for Ryan, even when his instincts say otherwise (like how through out the show, they pushed him towards Marissa whenever he tried to break free of her), and they basically shrug off his feelings on the subject. I truly do love the Cohens, but... sometimes it's more interesting to play up the fact that they are truly oblivious when it comes to Ryan.

On a different note... I'm starting to try and piece together a soundtrack for this story. I've got a couple good ones already... most of the songs will be Chuck/Ryan related, but some will relate to Ryan and the Cohens, Ryan and his newfound family, etc... If nothing else, it'll end up being one of my 24 Gifts for 2009... if you guys can think of any fitting songs, feel free to tell me!
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
fifimom on November 11th, 2009 02:55 pm (UTC)
I'm so enjoying this and I know nothing about GG but I do know a fun, sexy read. Thanks.
shoesequallifeshoesequallife on November 11th, 2009 03:49 pm (UTC)

can't wait for more. I have a feeling Ryan is not telling Chuck something about his Surgeries...that chuck hasn't heard the worst of it yet.
supreme_empresssupreme_empress on November 11th, 2009 08:43 pm (UTC)
I think Howie Day's Collide fits this fic awesomely.
jujuberry136jujuberry136 on November 12th, 2009 12:27 am (UTC)
You know, I would love to see Ryan's new family take down Marissa. It'd be epic. I think even Blair would have a fun time (maybe she invites Marissa to NY in an effort to break up/humiliate Ryan and Chuck? but then realizes what a horrible person she and joins in the public shaming... ok clearly I just want to see Marissa publicly shamed LOL).

Thanks so much for posting again! Still really liking this.
Now you'll never be king.xoxrelientkxox on December 7th, 2009 03:39 am (UTC)
2 thumbs up. Great chapter.