Warning: Ryan talks to Silver about being repeatedly raped in juvie by the warden. Not graphic, but... still disturbing.
Ryan & Silver Friendship
Ryan opened the door, surprised to find Silver on the other side, and even more surprised when she almost threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck.
"Thank you," she said simply.
Ryan smiled, squeezing her tightly. "Come on, what was I suppose to do? Let everyone think you were skipping your meds?"
"No else believed me," Silver replied, pulling back. "Just you."
"Everyone deserves to have at least one person who will always be on their side," Ryan said. "John taught me that."
"I'm just glad you're my person," Silver replied.
"Everything okay?" John asked as he walked out of the kitchen.
"I was just thanking Ryan for believing me when no one else did," Silver said. "Adrianna admitted that she switched out my meds for placebos. According to her, I'm still the bad one for stealing her boyfriend, even though she could have killed me."
"You're pressing charges, right?" John asked, frowning.
"Yeah," Silver said, nodding. "Kelly's pissed, she said it wasn't up to me, that I'm not eighteen just yet, so it's not my choice, it's hers. But I would have done it anyway. This is just... no guy is worth destroying another person's mental health. But at least now I know, Navid has no faith in me, so I can find someone who does."
John nodded. "You deserve someone who does," he said firmly. "Hungry? We were just about to sit down for diner, and there's plenty to go around."
"Yeah, I'd like that," Silver said.
"Ceasar made this amazing pizza thing..." Ryan told her as he closed the door. "He's made it before and it is so good. And it's weird combination free, which is always a plus."
"Ceasar's my boyfriend," John explained.
"Can't wait to meet him and make sure he's good enough to be in you and Ryan's lives," Silver teased.
"I like Ceasar," Silver said as she and Ryan sat in the backyard after dinner. "And I definitely love his cooking."
Ryan chuckled. "He is awesome. And he's good for John, makes him happy, and that... that makes me happy."
"Me, too," Silver agreed. "Although in my case it's that I'm happy you're happy."
Ryan sighed, leaning back in the lawn chair. "Silver... there's something I wanna tell you. I feel like I should have told you a long time ago, but... I guess I was scared to. I was scared you'd... you'd be disgusted and hate me..."
"Ryan?" Silver asked. "If you're trying to come out to me, I'm pissed that you think I'd be upset about it... and kinda relieved that this time it's not my boyfriend."
"No," Ryan said, shaking his head. "I'm straight. Or... I don't really... I think Naomi cheated with Max because I didn't wanna have sex."
Silver frowned, turning sideways in her chair to see him better in the dimming light. "What?"
Ryan sighed again. "When I was fourteen, I was arrested. My mom's boyfriend ran a chop shop, and they made me work there. The cops busted it one day when I was the only one there, and... John is actually the one who arrested me. He actually tried to reassure me that I would be fine, that it was obvious I wasn't the mastermind... but the judge was taking kickbacks from a warden who... he liked certain types."
Silver's mouth opened in horror. "Oh my God," she whispered.
Ryan looked down at his hands, unable to look at her if he was going to continue. "Yeah. I was... a couple times a week he'd... the Warden would call me up to his office and... after a year I hit a point of... I knew I couldn't do it anymore, and I knew I either had to get help or I had to kill myself, but I needed it to be over. I... I remembered John's name, and that he had seemed nice, seemed like he didn't think I deserved to get locked up, so... I sent him a letter, care of the police department, and I told him everything. He took it to his captain, who took it to the DA. Next thing you know, big scandal and breaking news..."
"Ackerman," Silver said. "I remember hearing about that."
Ryan nodded. "Yeah," he said. "The guards got scared I was gonna give the DA their names, too, so they beat me into a coma that lasted two days. And when I woke up, John was there because he had promised to help me, and he wasn't gonna leave me until he'd done that. When my social worker couldn't find a placement for me, and the hospital was ready to kick me out, John offered to let me stay with him for a few days, until she could find a place, and then... it just became permanent. He decided he wanted to give me a family, and... hes done a pretty good job of it."
Silver shook her head, then slowly reached over to grasp Ryan's hands in her own. "I could never be disgusted with you for what some sick monster did to you," she said firmly. "You didn't deserve it. Even if you had done something worthy of being locked up in Juvie, you didn't deserve what he did to you."
Ryan finally lifted his gaze, offering her a small smile. "Thanks," he whispered. "I know that, but... it helps to hear it again. But that's... sex is something that I... it scares the hell out of me. I know I don't have any STDs, I've been tested, and everyone who... I'm clean. But, sex just makes me think of what Ackerman did, what the guards did... so I can't reconcile sex with emotion, you know?" he said. "I loved Naomi, so the idea of having sex with her... it was terrifying."
"I gotta ask... does that mean no sex drive at all?" Silver asked.
Ryan shrugged. "I mean, I have interest, and I want to have sex in theory, but... anytime we started to do anything more than make out, I started freaking out and had to stop before I... before I had a complete panic attack."
"I can't believe I'm about to say this, but maybe in college you should try for some random hook ups with girls you like but don't love," Silver said. "Maybe if you can deal with sex that way, you can get to the point of sex with someone you love being in the cards."
"Are encouraging me to be easy?" Ryan teased.
"Yeah, I think I am," Silver said, nudging him in the side. "I doubt you'll have problems finding willing partners. Hell, if my friendship with you wasn't so important to me, I'd volunteer."
Ryan chuckled. "Thanks, Silver."
"For being another person I can count on."
"No matter what happens, I'm on your side," Silver promised.
"And I'm on yours," Ryan replied.